An immediate connection was sparked across his kitchen counter that was special—and sexy.
It's definitely in the category of too big to share. If I really like someone, I will tell them about my illness on our first date as a way of taking a stand for myself, like how I also now tell my first dates that I'm looking for a serious relationship, the kind that leads to marriage and kids (also another of the expert's no-no's that "make good men run.") If a man runs from all this, he may still be a good man, but he's not a good man for me.
But I don't know how much longer I'm going to be sick. Dating with chronic illness is hard for sure, and there were times when I felt truly undateable. But there are many things I can offer my dates because I'm much more than my illness: I'm a great listener, a deep empath, an entertaining storyteller.
And let them have the ability to untangle this information before you sit down to your first date. You’ve got to love yourself–with or without the disease, if you’re going to expect someone new in your life to do the same. –but slamming your fist down on the table every time you decree a new amendment on how you will be treated as a partner is not going to win you any suitors. Remember that relationships are a two way street and you’ve got be willing to put out just as much as you need to take in.
Hopefully, by this time they’ll have let it settle in their mind a bit and will be able to ask you some appropriate questions about how your disease affects your life. Lead by example, and don’t walk around with a chip on your shoulder that you leave in plain view. You need someone who is going to be there for you ALL the time. So why not start off this date making a mental list of how you’re going to improve life?
Understand that their first reaction probably will be “what the fuck? People can sense your uneasiness about your disease.